Reading between the lines

So, I had an interesting chat in the car on the way to Cranfield (where the aircraft is based) about newspapers. It seems I will need to think more carefully about the newspaper I'm seen carrying around. Usually I carry a paper in a prominent place to 'look educated and "in touch" with the world's recent events', then just read the sports (or sport) section, and finally recycle it at the end of the day.

In the US, it was pretty simple picking a newspaper, at least in Fort Collins. The choices for daily's were the Denver Post and The Rocky Mountain News, plus the Coloradoan, if you count the local paper. If you were in a starbucks you could read the New York Times, but that was pretty much it. In Britain, there are about 10 national papers available from every corner store (known as 'newsagents'). Each is associated with some type of political leaning, and cultural standing. I need help deciding which one to read on a regular basis, so please have a look at this list (in no particular order) and let me know what you think:

1. The Times
Politcal leaning: right-of-center (aka Joe Lieberman, Arnold Sch-something-eger)
Cultural level: pass the stilton
Pros: It gets points for its somewhat cocky 'we don't need no city in our name' flaghead, but then I quickly realized that all of these papers don't have city, or even countries, in their titles. What I used to think was what England was all about.
Cons: Owned by Rupert Murdoch's NewsCorp. Tabloid layout.

2. The Daily Telegraph
Political leaning: right
Cultural level: Just the right amount for the voters
Pros: Still published as a broadsheet. Firm convictions...
Cons: ...that exactly follow the Conservative Party platform

3. The Daily Mail
Political leaning: right of right
Cultural level: mind your own damn business, you bloody foreigner
Pros: Not made out of puppy skin?
Cons: owned by Rupert Murdoch's NewsCorp, anti-immigrant, The Daily Telegraph with balls

4. The Sun
Political leaning: right
Cultural level:
Naked woman pictured on page three of every issue, supposed to have the best football (soccer) coverage of all the national dailys, in depth literary criticism of post-modern dielectic novels and free-form expressive poetry (hint: one of these three is not really true)
Did I mention the naked women?

The Guardian
Political leaning:
Cultural level:
meusli, sandals, natural medicine, a furrowed, concerned brow
An obvious choice for an academic studying air pollution, climate change...if only I didn't like so many violent video games and hate so many different types of people.
Cons: Falling in-line with the classic stereotype.

6. The Independent
Politial leaning: left
Cultural level:
The world is broken beyond all hope. Let's go have a coffee and talk about it.
Youngest of the dailys, cutting-edge, trendy pick, claims to be above the fray. 'Powerful' journalism exposing the evils of the world.
It is already grey enough in this country without needing to read about it being even worse in the headlines.

7. The Financial Times
Political leaning:
economically liberal, who cares about the rest
Cultural level:
+4 1/8, -4005%, FTSE = -34
Pros: I'd look rich
Cons: I wouldn't be. It is pink.

Let me know what you think, or if I have forgetten any of them. Happy reading.


Pieceful Type said...

Psst....better get The (Glasgow) Herald or the Scotsman up here before you know who sees this! And these papers would reinforce your "foreigner" status (pronounced "state us."

.brian said...

You should go Guardian or Independent (or Scotsman), but shove The Sun inside.

Laura said...

I'm going with my dad's suggestion when he said, "Get them all, and carry them all around. That way no one knows where your loyalties lie." Plus, you could always stick one inside the other depending on where you are!

Roby Sue said...

just take the news online and save yourself some money and the world some trees while you're at it. your vanity cracks me up.

Matt said...

Ditch the hippies and go with the Financial Times - you're a man of money and status now, so act like one.

Kelley said...

Which one says "All my life been po', but it really don't matter no mo'" (i.e. which one would you look best reading while wearing shades and bobbing your head in slow motion... probably not the pink one).

kevin said...

Wait a second... you're telling me there are boobs in British newspapers? Sometimes I feel like I ended up on the wrong side of the revolution.

Matt said...

So, are you switching to seasonal posts now?