Teaser Tuesday #4: A Bit About Fred

Okay, so last week I noticed that Olivia came to the forefront of the teaser. I admit it: I love Olivia. She's always so peppy and funny and just seems to shine. But that worried me a little about Fred (my MC). So, here's a little snippet where Fred does some talkin'. Again, it's first draft and very rough. Also, I've still not figured out how to get rid of the lines in between quotation paragraphs, so it's a boring ol' quoting scheme this time. If anyone has suggestions, email me!

As always, let me know what you think (I usually dance jump up and down read and thoroughly appreciate comments. Suggestions are always welcome!!


“Well, I’m just glad you didn’t get eaten by a bear or something. Although fighting off wild animals would have been way more exciting than what I did while you were off communing with nature and you were trying your hardest to get yourself knocked up.” I pointed at Aeron and then at Liv, who both rolled their eyes at my rant. “I had the joy of filing books and updating library database records. Talk about fun.”

Actually, I had enjoyed working at the library this summer. It was relaxing, and once I got started on a job, no one bothered me. I could be in my own little world of making sure everything was ordered and in the right place, which left me with a huge sense of satisfaction.

“Anyway. I’m glad to be back in civilization where someone can cook food for me. I think I’ve eaten enough fish and cous cous to last me a lifetime. Speaking of food, I’m going to die if I don’t get an omelette,” Aeron said as he picked up the menu again.

Aeron looked over at the waitress who was gabbing to the cook about their weekend. She showed up about two seconds later ready to take our order. I didn’t need to look at the menu before I ordered a double order of hashbrowns and one waffle. Olivia made a scene of reading the menu, not finding anything low-cal, low-fat, or low-carb, and settling on a glass of 2% milk and a bowl of fresh fruit. Aeron ordered half the menu before the waitress yelled out to the cook what we wanted.

“Don’t you ever feel like trying something different, Fred? I expect Olivia to get the healthiest thing on the menu, so that’s not a surprise. But, why do you always get the same breakfast?”

“Why mess with a good thing? And, you know I don’t do eggs. They’re just...eww.” I scrunched my mouth and pinched my nose, which garnered me a chuckle from Aeron. Liv just rolled her eyes again as she sipped her coffee.

I didn’t even need to look at mine to know that it had already been filled with two creams and two sugars. Aeron had been taking care of my coffee since we’d started this breakfast tradition. I raised my eyebrows in thanks and he winked. “Like I said, you always get the same thing.” 


V.M.Pettingill said...

The dialog feels very real and I'm very intrigue about the relationships! You need to finish this so I can read it please!

Marilyn Almodovar said...

Loved the voices! Felt like I was right there with them. Excellent work!

J.S. Wood said...

It's so great to be reading your writing! I love the relationship they have in this snip, so comfortable!

Karla Nellenbach said...

I really like the byplay between the characters here. It feels real and not forced. Nicely done!

Krista Ashe said...

Glad you're teasing and writing again! Liked the relationship between the three characters. And Aeron is coming out really cute too!

Glen Akin said...

I loved the friendly atmosphere and how the characters seemed happy and at ease with each other. Really nice. I wonder what happens next. Someone dies?

Annie McElfresh said...

I'm with Fred! Egg=ewwww LOL

Can't wait to see what tricks you've come up with for this MS! I love Aeron and Fred's story, and I'm glad you're working on it again. :D

Karla Calalang said...

This was a great read! I love the dialogue! They seem to have a great friendship