Teaser Tuesday #4: The New Ch. 1

Yay! I'm posting a teaser again. I go in spells. But, after a massive brainstorming session with my friend, Hazel, I realized that the 37k I had already written on TD were going to have to change quite a bit. I already knew this, because I committed the newbie mistake of mistakes. It was horrid in fact. I started TD with my MC waking up from a dream! *Runs and hides from the shame of it.* *Comes back with a crimson face.* Oh, but it was worse than that, my friends. That was the second version of Ch. 1. The first version was my MC IN a dream. Yes, I'm already so embarrassed, I couldn't possibly turn more red. So there it is. Version one of Ch. 1 of TD was horrid.

That brings me to this week's teaser. This little snippet is from the new (and, good grief, I hope improved) version of TD's Ch. 1. It's the cliched first day of school and Fred is meeting her best friends, Aeron and Olivia for breakfast before school starts. It's in it's craptastic first draft form. Here ya go...

Snipped...Thanks for the comments!!

I love to read your comments, so let me know what you think! They don't have to be all praising either. If you think it sucks, you can tell me. I won't bust out the tissues and sob. Okay, maybe a little, but then I'll suck it up and work on things. :-D

Note: I have no clue why this stupid quotations thing isn't working right. I'm trying to fix it. In the meantime, sorry for the massive amounts of lines!!